Color confusion
VIDEO taken on 2020 oct 25 sunday
Kids can say things that teach the truth in a toffee.
Even bitter truths are like toffee, melting in my mouth, when
my kid says it with innocent, earnest honesty !!
TRUTH ! Truth could be so elusive, until a kid,
says it with brutal honesty.
I remember the day, my kid solved a big, divisive, destructive
issue that has been a plague to humans - in a sweet sentence !
We were having a cozy mother-daughter quality time. My daughter
Angela was two years old and sitting in my lap, as we were looking
at my birthday photos, from the week before. My friends had a surprise birthday party
for me - with purple roses, cake, kid-friendly food and we had taken,
a bunch of photos, to record all the fun stuff ,that,we had done that day.
My daughter looked at a photograph, where she and her friend,Rachel, were sitting
on a couch looking darling !! They were best buddies !
Suddenly my daughter ,Angela exclaimed, "Look mommy !! Rachel's
Vanilla and Iam chocolate ! " It took me a second to understand that,
Angela had realized that her friend had a different skin color than herself.
Rachel was White and my daughter was Asian American. But my daughter had not yet
heard about race . So she just referred to Rachel's White skin, as
'Vanilla' and her own dark skin color - as 'chocolate !'.
What an unnecessary load of trouble we have heaped up, over the
years, by teaching kids to recognize skin color as a racial
difference ! So I decided not to tell her she was Black and not
Chocolate. Anyway,she was as sweet as chocolate ; so what's the harm, if I
let her call herself chocolate ??!! YUMMY !!!
Iam from India ,where, " being born with darker skin" is an inferior thing. Indians use face cremes to lighten their skin -' Fair & Lovely ' was a famous brand, that promised to lighten skin color - in just a few weeks ! I understand that it was changed to "glow & lovely ". Good riddance !! Lighter the skin color of a girl, lower the dowry her parents need to give her husband's parents !! So a little investment in skin lightening cremes is thought of as a good investment for one's daughter- even in 2020 !
So, when we took my daughter,Angela, to India, my maid told her that she needs to lighten her skin and started rubbing tumeric paste mixed with some natural powders on Angela's skin. I was pregnant at that time and was having morning sickness that day.So the maid had cajoled Angela to let her lighten Angela's skin. But my daughter's skin broke out into a rash.
Oh,boy ! what a mess !
My little daughter was crying and I felt such regret that she had
found out, about, the " Black and White " skin differences in such a rude way.
Gone was the sweet reference to her skin color as 'chocolate' !!
She is still my chocolate - my sweetie !!
Cool Chair
My second daughter,Alice, is always curious about her surroundings She's always asking me questions !! So I enrolled her in a pre school, so that her teacher and I could take turns answering Alice's ever -growing set of questions . Oh,boy ! her brain must have tons of little wheels that churn out questions incessantly !! It was funny,though ,that I missed her little curious voice, asking me questions - that morning , while,Alice enjoyed her first day at pre school. She had been pleading me for weeks, by then, to let her go to school, as she was a "BIG GIRL" now !! Sure enough, the little tike had an enchanting "first day" at her pre school. Now it was my turn to see the world through Alice's eyes. For once, instead of asking questions, Alice was enlightening me, about all the new things - she had seen and learnt at her pre school. Finally, when Alice paused, to take a breath, I jumped in with my questions and asked Alice, about the best thing she liked at her pre school. Alice's eyes started shining with wonder, as she exclaimed,"The best thing at school is my teacher's COOL CHAIR ! " I was amazed, as I realized that,Alice was referring to her paralyzed teacher's wheel chair !!
I guess,that, it takes a child's innocence to put things into perspective !
Iam glad my American pre school director put things into perspective, and sent me to
hospital when I had started miscarrying Alice,a few years ago. This 'kind and caring,White
American lady,' had also given me, leave , to stay home - until the baby stopped bleeding in my womb.
There were others ,who told me to abort Alice, in order to avoid birth defects,
due to heavy bleeding of the foetus in my womb !Iam s...o glad, that I had not accepted thier perspective. Now, I can't even imagine my life without
Alice.
POSITIVE PROGRESS IS IN THE PERSPECTIVE !! Alice had made me progress in a positive direction,
with her 'COOL CHAIR' remark !!
I had known that her teacher was paralyzed a few years ago and felt sorry
for her. And here was my dear little daughter, referring to such a misfortune
as a cool thing !! I was looking at, 'what her teacher had lost' , while Alice
was looking at 'what her teacher had gained' - a brand new COOL CHAIR !!
I quickly changed the subject , afraid that, Alice might ask me, to buy her a
cool chair for Christmas. With kids, you never know what to expect !!!
Maybe we should elect chidren for US congress and get efficient solutions to problematic issues we face today !!